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A delicate flower is
Closed tightly around herself,
She protects her heart from the world around her
Letting nothing in or out
Each day is the same,
with no new experiences or adventures
No bees or wind able to gather pollen
To spread the seeds of life
No dazzling view of the sun; only darkness
But that same Sun pursues the little flower
Day after day, coaxing her to open her heart to him
So he can shine his light and in turn, give life
She feels the warmth from the outside in
And her curiosity is peaked
She slowly and cautiously opens one of her petals
To peek out at this familiar friend whom she has never seen
She gasps as she is met with a blinding rush of light;
Her eyes are not accustomed
To such radiance
after living in her dark cave for so long
She wants to shut herself up again,
but the warmth she felt from the outside
is nothing compared to the soothing, almost musical touch of the Sun
she now feels at her core
She closes her eyes and breathes deep, and slowly, so slowly,
releases the rest of her defenses,
fully blooming and basking in the light
She comes to life with a new peace,
guided by her friend, Creator, Savior
and shares with those around her
not only with a beautiful fragrance
but with the new growth of pollen
she’s suddenly developed by exposing
the deepest part of her to the Light.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Thought of the day
This might be an obvious statement, but whenever God wants to teach me something, I hear the lesson everywhere.
Today in my daily devotions, I was reading in I John-which is one of my FAVORITE books-and what I was reading spoke so directly to the things I've been struggling with I got chills (then I got in the car and heard it on the radio). Not only do I struggle with waiting on the Lord but in how I view him, how I treat others because of how I view myself, etc. I've been trying to overcome negative self-talk and negative, critical thoughts of myself it seems for most of my "adult" life. It's such a deep, every day issue that it's become a norm in my life-it's to the point where it's woven into the fabric of my life so the only chance of removal is ripping and tearing it out...
The thing that struck me in these (and other) passages is how many times John talks about LOVING OTHERS.
"We know we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers" I John 3:14
"And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us." I John 3:23
This concept is also found in Luke 10:27 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind (also in Deut 6:5); and Love your neighbor as yourself (Lev. 19:18)."
Ok, here's my thought: if I'm supposed to love my neighbor as myself but I hate myself or critisize myself or compare myself with others instead of loving myself, I am not fulfilling the second most important commandment in the entire Bible. I think as Christians we want to make sure we remind ourselves that we are not deserving of God's grace (in fact we are not) to the point where we walk around in a slump thinking we're not good enough, not worthy of anyone or anything.
I truly believe that Satan has me in a stronghold and if I'm not careful it can really affect my witness and purpose here on earth. I think loving yourself (not in a weird, new-age, all-about-me way but with an attitude of humility and acceptance of grace) is a key part to..."love your neighbor AS YOURSELF." That's what the verse says. I think it's one thing to point out that we are saved by grace and yet another to try to take Jesus's place on the cross (thus stealing its power), to try to somehow punish ourselves enough so we can feel better about the things we've done.
God has been speaking to me for a long time about this; it's such an emotional issue my eyes can't help but water. It's all about "replacing the tapes" as my counselor mother-in-law would say. Instead of thinking "I am such a failure, I am such a sinner, I am worthless, I am stupid, I am ugly, I am fat, no one likes me, no one values me, I have to be perfect to be loved, I wish I was this, I wish I was that, I'm a horrible person, wife, mother..." whatever it may be, we need to replace that negative self talk with the truth of God's word.
What is his truth?
Well, here are some to replace those lies:
My lie: "I am worthless". God's truth: The very hairs on my head are numbered, His thoughts towards me are as many as all the grains of sand on all the beaches, I am worth much more than sparrows, whom he feeds and clothes, while I was still a sinner, Christ died for ME.
My lie: "I am ugly or fat". God's truth: He created my inmost being and knit me together in my mother's womb, I am his beautiful creation, and that while beauty is nice, it is fleeting...a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31.30 Also, one of my favorites: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14
My lie: "I am not good enough; I'm a failure." God's truth: "And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace." Romans 11:6 "not by works, so that no one can boast." Eph 2:9 I don't have to be good enough because Jesus was the perfect atonement for all my shortcomings, every sin I have comitted or will commit. He knows that we are sinful and has forgiven us all our sins. All we have to do is confess that we have sinned and accept His gift of grace. No self-inflicted punishment, shame, or guilt should be born out of our mistakes-he bore all of that and "finished it."
Another underlying cause of these thoughts that the Lord revealed to me is FEAR. It seems like a lot of things stem from fear: Anger stems from fear, defensiveness stems from fear, and the obvious-anxiety stems from fear...back to I John 4:18: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is made perfect in love."
Wow. This verse always hits home with me. When we try to be perfect and beat ourselves up when we're not, I think one of the reasons is because we're afraid we're going to get "in trouble" or punished for making a mistake. It's as if we think God won't love us anymore-this is esp true if we've ever had an experience where we've felt conditionally loved (which is the case in all our human relationships I think) and in turn view God in the same light. The truth is, God loves us. Period.
Finally, this verse sums it up...although I could go on and on about this topic! :)
"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This, then is how we know we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."
Today in my daily devotions, I was reading in I John-which is one of my FAVORITE books-and what I was reading spoke so directly to the things I've been struggling with I got chills (then I got in the car and heard it on the radio). Not only do I struggle with waiting on the Lord but in how I view him, how I treat others because of how I view myself, etc. I've been trying to overcome negative self-talk and negative, critical thoughts of myself it seems for most of my "adult" life. It's such a deep, every day issue that it's become a norm in my life-it's to the point where it's woven into the fabric of my life so the only chance of removal is ripping and tearing it out...
The thing that struck me in these (and other) passages is how many times John talks about LOVING OTHERS.
"We know we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers" I John 3:14
"And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us." I John 3:23
This concept is also found in Luke 10:27 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind (also in Deut 6:5); and Love your neighbor as yourself (Lev. 19:18)."
Ok, here's my thought: if I'm supposed to love my neighbor as myself but I hate myself or critisize myself or compare myself with others instead of loving myself, I am not fulfilling the second most important commandment in the entire Bible. I think as Christians we want to make sure we remind ourselves that we are not deserving of God's grace (in fact we are not) to the point where we walk around in a slump thinking we're not good enough, not worthy of anyone or anything.
I truly believe that Satan has me in a stronghold and if I'm not careful it can really affect my witness and purpose here on earth. I think loving yourself (not in a weird, new-age, all-about-me way but with an attitude of humility and acceptance of grace) is a key part to..."love your neighbor AS YOURSELF." That's what the verse says. I think it's one thing to point out that we are saved by grace and yet another to try to take Jesus's place on the cross (thus stealing its power), to try to somehow punish ourselves enough so we can feel better about the things we've done.
God has been speaking to me for a long time about this; it's such an emotional issue my eyes can't help but water. It's all about "replacing the tapes" as my counselor mother-in-law would say. Instead of thinking "I am such a failure, I am such a sinner, I am worthless, I am stupid, I am ugly, I am fat, no one likes me, no one values me, I have to be perfect to be loved, I wish I was this, I wish I was that, I'm a horrible person, wife, mother..." whatever it may be, we need to replace that negative self talk with the truth of God's word.
What is his truth?
Well, here are some to replace those lies:
My lie: "I am worthless". God's truth: The very hairs on my head are numbered, His thoughts towards me are as many as all the grains of sand on all the beaches, I am worth much more than sparrows, whom he feeds and clothes, while I was still a sinner, Christ died for ME.
My lie: "I am ugly or fat". God's truth: He created my inmost being and knit me together in my mother's womb, I am his beautiful creation, and that while beauty is nice, it is fleeting...a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31.30 Also, one of my favorites: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14
My lie: "I am not good enough; I'm a failure." God's truth: "And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace." Romans 11:6 "not by works, so that no one can boast." Eph 2:9 I don't have to be good enough because Jesus was the perfect atonement for all my shortcomings, every sin I have comitted or will commit. He knows that we are sinful and has forgiven us all our sins. All we have to do is confess that we have sinned and accept His gift of grace. No self-inflicted punishment, shame, or guilt should be born out of our mistakes-he bore all of that and "finished it."
Another underlying cause of these thoughts that the Lord revealed to me is FEAR. It seems like a lot of things stem from fear: Anger stems from fear, defensiveness stems from fear, and the obvious-anxiety stems from fear...back to I John 4:18: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is made perfect in love."
Wow. This verse always hits home with me. When we try to be perfect and beat ourselves up when we're not, I think one of the reasons is because we're afraid we're going to get "in trouble" or punished for making a mistake. It's as if we think God won't love us anymore-this is esp true if we've ever had an experience where we've felt conditionally loved (which is the case in all our human relationships I think) and in turn view God in the same light. The truth is, God loves us. Period.
Finally, this verse sums it up...although I could go on and on about this topic! :)
"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This, then is how we know we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Waiting on the Lord Devo #1
"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. BE STILL before the Lord and wait patiently for him..." Psalm 37:4-7
This entire passage has been one of my long-time favorties. I love the promises of the Lord to his children.
As some of you know, we have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now. I know there are some girls in the church struggling with the same thing and unless you've been there you can't understand the fear, the pain and the emotional struggle to understand "why?". However, my faith would be nothing if I didn't turn to God in this time and KNOW that he is faithful, he is just and his timing is PERFECT.
This passage is especially poignent to my situation; to "BE STILL" before the Lord and to wait patiently for him" is the complete opposite of my natural tendencies. I like to talk about things, to get them off my chest even though I don't think God means literally to be quiet here. I do think he means to sit quietly before him in Spirit, in the quietness of our hearts so he can speak to us instead of trying to do things ourselves. Even though the pslam is talking about the wicked succeeding and not to worry about that but wait patiently for God to clear our names, etc, I also take the verse that talks about making "your righteousness to shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun" to mean that he WILL come, he WILL answer and his perfect will is going to be done if we let him.
The second part of that verse is to WAIT on the Lord. I looked this up on an online commentary and the definition they gave about waiting was "Be submissive-avoid petulance and murmerings, anger and rash doing." Goodness. Submission for me is impossible without God's help. We have learned our entire lives (especially as women through the media and examples in our lives, etc) to be strong, self-sufficient and independent. I went through Judy's Bible study about loving your husband, and submission was the underlying key topic. This is one of my weak points and something I struggle with tremedously, as the Lord knows. I came from a long line of "strong" independent women who aren't afraid to make their opinions known even when it might be better in some situations to be quiet. So being a "quiet, gentle" woman is not something that comes naturally to me but something I truly strive for. That's a whole other topic in itself!
I think the Lord is teaching me huge lessons through this waiting period in our lives. 1) To "consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4
AND
2) Waiting in faith in him (because he WILL come through as he says he's going to-even if it's not with the answer we want) and how to wait patiently for things. We are to trust "on" him to do the things that we cannot...just as the recent passage we studied in Matthew 6:27 talks about "Who by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" All we do is drive ourselves crazy (and everyone else around us!) when truly what God wants us to do is stop, quiet our hearts, draw close to him and hear his voice. Instead of worrying and thinking negative thoughts, we should "delight ourselves in the Lord" for then he will give us the desires of our hearts.
Isn't is amazing how the entire Bible ties together? These in-depth studies are amazing to me because it allows things to "click" in my mind. The bottom line in the things that we desire or seek after is that our number one focus should be seeking the kingdom of God. Then our sweet Jesus, who loves us so much and can't wait to shower blessings on us, will add all of the other things he knows we need and desire to our lives (Matt 6:33). But he has to be first in our hearts I believe in order to fully give us these tremendous blessings.
My prayer is that I can truly wait on the Lord during this time in my life; I hope that others of you that are going through similar situations are encouraged by this study! May God always be glorified.
Blessings! Shanna
This entire passage has been one of my long-time favorties. I love the promises of the Lord to his children.
As some of you know, we have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now. I know there are some girls in the church struggling with the same thing and unless you've been there you can't understand the fear, the pain and the emotional struggle to understand "why?". However, my faith would be nothing if I didn't turn to God in this time and KNOW that he is faithful, he is just and his timing is PERFECT.
This passage is especially poignent to my situation; to "BE STILL" before the Lord and to wait patiently for him" is the complete opposite of my natural tendencies. I like to talk about things, to get them off my chest even though I don't think God means literally to be quiet here. I do think he means to sit quietly before him in Spirit, in the quietness of our hearts so he can speak to us instead of trying to do things ourselves. Even though the pslam is talking about the wicked succeeding and not to worry about that but wait patiently for God to clear our names, etc, I also take the verse that talks about making "your righteousness to shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun" to mean that he WILL come, he WILL answer and his perfect will is going to be done if we let him.
The second part of that verse is to WAIT on the Lord. I looked this up on an online commentary and the definition they gave about waiting was "Be submissive-avoid petulance and murmerings, anger and rash doing." Goodness. Submission for me is impossible without God's help. We have learned our entire lives (especially as women through the media and examples in our lives, etc) to be strong, self-sufficient and independent. I went through Judy's Bible study about loving your husband, and submission was the underlying key topic. This is one of my weak points and something I struggle with tremedously, as the Lord knows. I came from a long line of "strong" independent women who aren't afraid to make their opinions known even when it might be better in some situations to be quiet. So being a "quiet, gentle" woman is not something that comes naturally to me but something I truly strive for. That's a whole other topic in itself!
I think the Lord is teaching me huge lessons through this waiting period in our lives. 1) To "consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4
AND
2) Waiting in faith in him (because he WILL come through as he says he's going to-even if it's not with the answer we want) and how to wait patiently for things. We are to trust "on" him to do the things that we cannot...just as the recent passage we studied in Matthew 6:27 talks about "Who by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" All we do is drive ourselves crazy (and everyone else around us!) when truly what God wants us to do is stop, quiet our hearts, draw close to him and hear his voice. Instead of worrying and thinking negative thoughts, we should "delight ourselves in the Lord" for then he will give us the desires of our hearts.
Isn't is amazing how the entire Bible ties together? These in-depth studies are amazing to me because it allows things to "click" in my mind. The bottom line in the things that we desire or seek after is that our number one focus should be seeking the kingdom of God. Then our sweet Jesus, who loves us so much and can't wait to shower blessings on us, will add all of the other things he knows we need and desire to our lives (Matt 6:33). But he has to be first in our hearts I believe in order to fully give us these tremendous blessings.
My prayer is that I can truly wait on the Lord during this time in my life; I hope that others of you that are going through similar situations are encouraged by this study! May God always be glorified.
Blessings! Shanna
Thursday, April 10, 2008
The Rain by Shanna Lynn Browning
The rain comes down
Adorning the fingers of branches
With millions of tiny diamonds
The rain comes down
Forming puddles on the muddy ground
For children’s feet to jump
The rain comes down
Kissing the faces of people it meets
Strangers who run from its advances
The rain comes down
Quenching the thirst of life on earth
Strengthening what is weak
The rain comes down
Falling on a dirty soul
Washing away the stains
Cleansing what is unclean
The rain comes down
Falling to earth from a Father's eyes
Seeking to adorn, to please, to kiss
To quench, to cleanse
The rain falls down
Adorning the fingers of branches
With millions of tiny diamonds
The rain comes down
Forming puddles on the muddy ground
For children’s feet to jump
The rain comes down
Kissing the faces of people it meets
Strangers who run from its advances
The rain comes down
Quenching the thirst of life on earth
Strengthening what is weak
The rain comes down
Falling on a dirty soul
Washing away the stains
Cleansing what is unclean
The rain comes down
Falling to earth from a Father's eyes
Seeking to adorn, to please, to kiss
To quench, to cleanse
The rain falls down
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