Better, not Bitter

Sometimes, you just need to word-slapped. Not punched, not beat-down, just a good ol' fashioned wake-up slap.

I have the tendency in my spiritual life to be a lingerer. I daydream, get comfortable (or weary) with where I'm at, get complacent and then look down and I'm neck deep in the quicksand of my own flesh. It's a gradual sinking, but the end result is still death. So when I came across this quote from Oswald Chambers, I felt like the force of it broke through the walls that I had been building up and let a little bit of light in.

"We all know people who have been made much meaner and more irritable and more intolerable to live with by suffering; it is not right to say that all suffering perfects. It only perfects one type of person...the one who accepts the call of God in Christ Jesus."--Oswald Chambers

It hit home, that's for sure. To say that I fit into the "intolerable" category is putting it lightly (my poor husband-he deserves a medal). And that got me thinking about how I so often allow myself to sink into a victim mentality. It's like a warm bath: inviting, soothing and you can sink down into it and forget about everything else for a little while. Plus, it's about YOU so of course it feels good.

But is that what Jesus said our lives would be like? Did he say following Him would be easy? Quite the opposite...in fact, we are told we will SHARE in the sufferings of Christ, that we should not be surprised when we experience trials of MANY kinds in this life and even Jesus Himself tells us that in order to follow Him we are required to pick up our daily cross.

So why this attitude like hardships shouldn't be happening to us? Like somehow we are above it (or even below it if our pride is masking itself as low self-esteem)? Like God should be testing someone else and how it's just SO unfair and we are hurting and we are suffering and why, why, why??

I've found in my own life that if I'm not careful, this attitude takes seed deep in my heart. It germinates as an ugly seed of "self", is watered by indignation, pouting and whining and finally sprouts into toxic, choking weeds of bitterness, anger and resentment. I'm choosing to be bitter, not allowing the difficulty to make me better.

Instead, I wonder if we could embrace suffering, knowing that it's work is refining and perfecting us. A friend once said that she thanks God when she goes through hard times because He's taking the time to care enough about her to let her experience them. Either way, we're going to go through hard times. Wouldn't it make it a lot easier to surrender, and truly rest in the arms of Jesus instead of fighting and kicking and screaming the whole way?

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Just some thoughts this morning as I come to the end of my 3 month journey of excruciating back pain. Even though it's been difficult, it's forced me to rely on God's strength each and every day. His Word and His peace have kept me back from the brink of despair. I am so thankful for a Father that disciplines and loves me enough to put me through the fire. May I emerge more beautiful, stronger and praising His name.