Random Snowy Thoughts...

So I had the itching to post on my blog today, with the torrent of thoughts that are consuming my attention. I think they are a result of cabin fever and being without normal human interaction for so long. Even now, I feel a little like this tree; snowbound and rooted into one spot, alone. That sounds just a little dismal and self-pitying but I can't help it. That's how I feel right now.

The truth is, to perpetuate this feeling of isolation, I'm willing to bet that no one will read this blog entry. Not that it matters, just as long as I can get my torrid thoughts out of my head and onto some kind of medium.

I have been feeling a bit depressed lately; with my husband working graveyard, the snow that's kept me in my house for over a week, the seemingly never-ending "debt plan" that pinches our pennies every month, the desire for a baby and not being pregnant each month, my sister moving out of town...I feel somewhat smothered by multiple difficult circumstances. I feel sometimes as if I am being lowered into some dark hole, and am fighting with everything inside of me, scraping the darkness with my fingernails, searching for a place to hold on. I know that all sounds desperate and despondent, but I think that's a pretty good description of depression-not clinical depression, mind you, but circumstantial depression.

Whenever I feel this way I have to stop in my tracks and check myself. I believe there is a reason and a design for everything that happens in our lives and emotions are sometimes the avenue through which God speaks to us. When we feel we're at the end of our ropes, perhaps he's been trying to get our attention by letting us slide there. Instead of focusing on the Source of life and love and happiness and joy, we've been neglecting it and instead turning our eyes inward in a self-pitying, self depracating way that only leads to darkness. God is the "Father of Lights" so where He is there is no darkness. Suffice to say we are not seeking relationship with the Lord as we should be when we are in the dark. I have to clarify this by saying that there are cases where, of course, hormonal and chemical imbalances occur and we may truly be in the light and right relationship with God yet feel we are in darkness.

But that requires the most faith of all...it's when we can't see the light but must trust that it is there where the depth of our belief is tested. At the same time I think there are conditional depressions which stem from a lack of relationship from the Life-Giver, the Creator, our Jesus. How can a plant grow without sunlight or water? If we starve it of these two essential life-giving elements, how can we expect it to stay alive? The same is true with our spiritual selves. We are connected to the vine and in order to flourish and produce much fruit, we have to expose ourselves to the light of the Father and to his living water, the Word. We have to open up our closed, stubborn hearts in order to receive sustenance.

So I guess the lesson for me to take away from this, after seeing the explanation of my melancholy spelled out for me, is to seek the Lord with all my heart, draw near to Him as he draws near to me, turn my face to the Son and not to the darkness of my selfish, self-centered thoughts and receive the life that He has promised me.

Nothing is too big for Him but nothing is too small for Him either. That is what makes our Lord so incredibly beautiful. He is king yet friend, father yet brother, Savior of the world yet interested in our own little tiny lives, as precious children.

Thanks for letting me share this Christmas season to any of you who are reading; and like the tree, snow-burdened or not, let us always point to the true reason for our celebration-JESUS CHRIST.

Psalm 23

Psalm 23 has always been one of my favorite Psalms.

I was lying in bed the other night, meditating on how each line reflects a characteristic of our amazing God and came up with the following.

Psalm 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

The Lord leads and guides my life through highs and lows, valleys and mountains; I will never want for any of my needs.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,

He gives me rest and sustenance; he quiets my anxieties and troubles with peaceful calm.

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

He replaces the strength, pieces of my heart and steadfastness the world takes from me: he is the God of restoration and redemption.
He always leads me to the right path even though it might not be one I understand, it’s all in the name of Jesus and his perfect plan for my life.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,

I don’t have to fear anything of this world or punishment as I am made perfect in the Father’s love through Jesus; in His forgiveness of my sins, in the new robes of righteousness He’s given me to walk with Him.

for you are with me;

He always walks beside me and sometimes carries me through the hard times…even to “the ends of the earth.”

your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

His discipline and wisdom guide me back into the fold when I am tempted to wander. They are as familiar to me as the strong hand of a father, establishing rules for the safety of His children.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.

He puts me at a place of honor at His table and those who hate me look on, choosing not to participate in the glorious feast.

You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

His Holy Spirit annoints my life, coating it with rich fragrance: inside, outside and fills me up so that His light and love overflows unbridled into the lives of others

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,

When I follow the Lord I know that not everything will go perfectly for me and in fact might be harder than if I didn’t know Him, but I know that the Lord seeks after me to bless me, His child, for as long as I live

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Because I am His, I will receive His amazing gift of eternal life, only because of His ultimate sacrifice on the cross to wash away my sins.

Implications of this financial Apocalypse

By Joel C. Rosenberg

"U.S. foes gloat over financial crisis" (Associated Press)

"Iran hails world financial crisis as 'end of capitalism'" (Agence France Presse)

"We are witnessing the collapse of the American Empire." - Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh

"We are happy that the U.S. economy is in anarchy and the anarchy is reaching Europe. They are seeing the result of their own ugly doings and God is punishing them." - top Iranian cleric

-------------------------------

(Washington, D.C., October 16, 2008)-- The U.S. is experiencing the most serious financial crisis since the Great Depression. Our enemies know it. They smell blood in the water. Consider the latest developments:

* "Wall Street stocks plunged Wednesday in the second biggest single day point loss in history and their worst percentage fall in two decades, ravaged by fears the world's biggest economy is slipping into recession. The Dow Jones Industrial Average slid 733.08 points (7.87 percent) to close at 8,577.91 in the worst one-day point loss since last month's record 777-point decline and the steepest percentage drop since 1987. In an even more brutal decline, the broad-market Standard & Poor's index plunged 90.17 points (9.03 percent) to 907.84." (AFP)

* "We are living through financial history of the tragic kind. As of Friday's close, America's stock market had declined in value by well over 40 per cent compared with its peak a year ago. Already, this ranks as the fifth biggest stock market decline since the 1920s." (U.K. Independent)

* "U.S. stocks [in recent days have] plunged the most since the crash of 1987, hammered by the biggest drop in retail sales in three years and growing doubt that plans to bail out banks will keep the economic slump from deepening….The S&P 500 has tumbled 38 percent in 2008 as losses and writedowns from mortgage-related investments at financial firms worldwide topped $640 billion….The S&P 500 has tumbled 42 percent from its Oct. 9, 2007, record and the Dow has lost 39 percent from its peak the same day." (Bloomberg News)

* "Japan's key stock index plummeted more than 11 percent, South Korean shares shed 9.25 percent, and Hong Kong's Hang Seng Index was down 4.8 percent. Floowing Asia's lead, benchmarks in Britain, Germany and France slipped about 3 percent. Russia's RTS also fell." (AP)

* "U.S. Forces Nine Major Banks To Accept Partial Nationalization" - Washington Post

* "The White House said G8 leaders were expected to meet this year on the worst financial crisis since the 1930s Great Depression. Governments around the world have pledged $3.2 trillion in emergency measures - roughly an equivalent to the economic output of Germany or China - including taking stakes in banks to help them stabilize, rallying world markets on Monday and Tuesday. But optimism quickly gave way to fears that government intervention would not save major economies from recession." (Reuters)

This is not a temporary glitch in the global financial software. The problems are real, deep and systemic. The best explanations and analysis I have seen have come from Steve Forbes, editor-in-chief of Forbes magazine, the nation's foremost business magazine (see Steve's recent columns).

The big question now: What does it all mean and where do we go from here? A few thoughts on the implications of this financial apocalypse:

1. First things first: our national security is inextricably tied to our economic security. Economic weakness is an invitation to radical Islamic terrorists to hit us again. It's also an invitation to other rogue nations to pursue their evil plans while thinking we are unable or unwilling to stop them. The U.S. cannot lead the world in defeating tyrants and terrorists and creating an environment of peace and prosperity if we are collapsing at home. Stabilizing our economy, reforming our financial institutions, punishing and imprisoning those who have criminally undermined our economy, and getting us back on the road to free market growth and entrepreneurial health and vitality must be the top priority of the next Commander-in-Chief.

2. I don't believe one U.S. political party or the other is specifically to blame for our own financial crisis. There is plenty of blame to go around and the problems have been developing for years. That said, it is becoming increasingly clear to me that the U.S. stock markets are tanking especially hard right now in part because investors believe Sen. Barack Obama is going to win on November 4th. As polls for Obama and Congressional Democrats have risen - and Americans have begun to sense that Obama's election as president and expanded control of Congress by Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Sen. Harry Reid and their liberal allies is inevitable - investors' fears have not been calmed. They have been exacerbated. True, investors don't see a complete and convincing economic rescue plan from Sen. McCain. But they see disaster in Obama's plan and the likelihood of full control of the U.S. government by the Democrats. The Obama-Pelosi-Reid prescription, after all, is the worst possible medicine for the economy - $1.3 trillion in new federal spending, dramatic tax increases on small businesses, dramatic tax increases on big businesses, dramatic tax increases on those who create wealth, a major new tax on energy producers, as well as nationalized health care system. We are not simply on the brink of a serious recession; we are on the brink of another Great Depression. How, then, will massive tax increases and massive government spending help us fight our way out of this crisis? Answer: it won't. And Main Street and Wall Street know it. Just ask Joe the Plumber.

3. Are there prophetic implications of this financial crisis? It is hard to be definitive. The U.S. does not show up specifically in any end times Bible prophecies. But this fact alone raises a sobering question: If we are really in what the Bible describes as "the last days" before the return of Jesus Christ, then how is it possible that the United States of America - the wealthiest and most powerful nation on the face of the planet in the history of mankind - does not play a significant, notable role in Biblical end times events?

The honest answer: I don't know for certain. But here's what I wrote in Dead Heat (p. 154): "What Bennett had never really considered carefully until now was the possibility that something else might devastate the American people, rendering them ineffective heading into the last of the last days. A financial downturn on Wall Street. The sudden collapse of the dollar. The beginning of another Great Depression. A series of devastating earthquakes. Or hurricanes. Or other natural disasters, like a tsunami. [Or ] the most cataclysmic terrorist attack of all time - five nuclear warheads. And there might be more to come. None of it was clearly prophesied in the Scriptures. Not that he could find. But perhaps he should have foreseen the neutralization of America by more carefully reading between the lines. If so, what else was he missing? What exactly was coming next?"

4. Finally, let us consider the possibility that the Lord is allowing this economic meltdown in part to shake our confidence in anything but a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Is it possible that God is trying to shake us loose from trusting in our wealth, from trusting in our political leaders, from trusting in our own ingenuity and our own hard work? Is it possible that He is trying to get us to shift our focus from worldly, materialistic things to how much He loves us, and the truth that the only person we can truly trust in life to never leave us or forsake us is Jesus Christ? Is it possible that He is trying to get us to read the Bible more, and the stock tickers less? To pray more, and to worry less? To store up our treasures in heaven, and not concentrate so much on our treasures on earth?

Anyone who is feeling fearful during this turbulent economic times would do well to meditate on the words Jesus told His disciples in Matthew 6:19-33 --

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also….No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other You cannot serve God and wealth. For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

October 8th, Our Two-Year Anniversary

Tim and I have been married two years today! It's amazing to look back and see how fast the time has gone, yet feel like I've known this man for twenty years.

First and foremost, I have to say that I am married to the most wonderful man in the entire world! I know other women say that about their husbands, but mine is truly the best. :) The most incredible part is that he loves ME. He always says that I only married him because God blinded me, but I believe it's the other way around.

Every day I thank the Lord for bringing him into my life. We met two and half years ago on March 8th at a Wed night Athey Creek Bible Study. My friend Tia introduced us and there was an instant connection we both felt. I wish I could go into both our histories leading up to this point because it is truly an amazing testimony of God's grace, restoration and redemption but I will have to cover that in another post.

I was at a point in my life where I had decided to be single and concentrate on the Lord with my whole heart. That time with Jesus was one of the most special and fruit-bearing chapters in my life. I had surrendered my dream of marriage at the foot of the cross, not expecting to ever get married. It was truly an Abraham and Issac moment because as I raised the knife of surrender, the Lord picked up my dream, dusted it off, healed its wounds from years of mistakes and sin, made it shine like the sun and gave it back to me in the form of my husband, Tim.



So, when I met Tim that night I spent a lot of time in prayer, seeking the Lord's will. I didn't even want to sit anywhere near him at church before I had heard from the Lord. We both felt it like a bolt of lighting but each of us wanted to do the right thing in the sight of God. Even in the midst of waiting on the Lord, though, God was writing the most beautiful love story. The second time we saw each other at church, Tim came up to me and said" I have been thinking about you and praying about you a lot. I know that I want you in my life I just don't know if it will be a friendship or more but I can't stop thinking about you. I just wanted you to know." Wow. I went home and called my mom and told her I met a REAL man. :) Not one that played it cool or played games with my heart, but one that came right out and told me that he wanted me in his life in some way or another. To this day I still value how direct and honest Tim is and how it's strengthened not only the communication in our marrige, but the respect as well.

Anyway, our first date was about a month later and after that the rest is history. I'm not one to believe in "love at first sight" but I can tell you that the feeling of knowing he was the one that everyone was talking to me about for so long, finally came true in the beautiful blue eyes of my sweet Tim. There was no denying it.

After he went with me and my family to Colorado and was able to meet my ENTIRE extended family (which is incredible because I haven't seen some of them for 10 plus years!), he proposed to me the day after we came back after he had spoken to my father. We were married just 5 short months later.

The lesson here for me was that when you let the Lord take control of something in your life, even if there is some fear that things won't turn out exactly as you want them to, you can trust that he will knock your socks off. What he can do in the drivers seat of your life is SO much better than anything you can ever try to make happen yourself or imagine. Take it from someone who knows!

So, today we celebrate two years together and I am looking forward to many more together with this wonderful man: my soul mate, best friend and so much more.

I love you Timmy.

ee cummings Poem-I carry your heart

ee cummings is one of my favorite poets. I love his use of language and how different his prose is. I started reading him in college as a result of a Writing/Lit class and this is one of my favorites:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

WHO ARE YOU VOTING FOR?

No matter who you vote for, becoming educated is the best way to make good desicions about our government. We only have a voice if we use it.

This email comes in three parts....Make sure you read all three parts!

Part 1
In just one year. Remember the election in 2006?

Thought you might like to read the following:

A little over one year ago:
1) Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high;
2) Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;
3) The unemployment rate was 4.5%.
Since voting in a Democratic Congress in 2006 we have seen:
1) Consumer confidence plummet;
2) The cost of regular gasoline soar to over $4.10 a gallon;
3) Unemployment is up to 5% (a 10% increase);
4) American households have seen $2.3 trillion in equity value evaporate (stock and mutual fund losses);
5) Americans have seen their home equity drop by $1.2 trillion dollars;
6) 1% of American homes are in foreclosure.
7) Food prices skyrocketing over 30% in 1 year.

America voted for change in 2006, and we got it!

Remember it's Congress that makes law - not the President. He has to work with what's handed to him.
Quote of the Day........'My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it.' -- Barack Obama

Part 2:
Taxes...Whether Democrat or a Republican you will find these statistics enlightening and amazing.

www.taxfoundation.org/publications/show/151.HTML

Taxes under CLINTON-1999 Taxes under BUSH-2008
Single earning: Single earning:
30K - taxed- $ 8,400 30K - taxed $ 4,500
50K - taxed $ 14,000 50K - taxed $ 12,500
75K - taxed $ 23,250 75K - taxed $ 18,750
Married earning: Married earning:
60K - taxed $ 16,800 60K - taxed $ 9,000
75K - taxed $ 21,000 75K - taxed $ 18,750
125K - taxed $ 38,750 125K ? taxed $ 31,250

Barack Obama promises to return to the higher tax rates if elected. It is amazing how many people that fall into the categories above think Bush is screwing them and Bill Clinton was the greatest President ever.

If elected, Barack Obama has already promised that he will repeal the Bush tax cuts, and amazingly, a good portion of the people that fall into the categories above can't wait for it to happen. This is like the movie The Sting with Paul Newman; you scam somebody out of some money and they don't even know what happened.

PART 3:
You think the war in Iraq is costing us too much? I now find that to be RIDICULOUS. Over 900 billion dollars has been spent on the war, and over 4,000 US lives. That is priceless!

I hope the following 14 reasons are forwarded over and over again until they are read so many times that the reader gets sick of reading them. I have included the URL's for verification of all the following facts.

1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens each year by state governments.

Verify at: http://tinyurl.com/zob77

2. $2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens.

Verify at: http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html

3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens.

Verify at: http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html

4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondary school education for children here illegally and they cannot speak a word of English!

Verify at: http://transcripts.CNN.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.0.HTML

5. $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the American-born children of illeg al aliens, known as anchor babies.

Verify at: http://transcripts..cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

6. $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens.

Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

7. 30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens.

Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

8. $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare & social services by the American taxpayers.

Verify at: http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.html

9. $200 Billion Dollars a year in suppressed American wages are caused by the illegal aliens.

Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

10. The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that's two and a half times that of white non-illegal aliens. In particular, their children, are going to make a huge additional crime problem in the US

Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0606/12/ldt.01.html

11. During the year of 2005 there were 4 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens that crossed our South ern Border also, as many as 19,500 illegal aliens from Terrorist Countries. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, meth, heroin and
marijuana, crossed into the U. S from the Southern border.

Verify at: Homeland Security Report: http://tinyurl..com/t9sht

12. The National Policy Institute, 'estimated that the total cost of mass deportation would be between $206 and $230 billion or an average cost of between $41 and $46 billion annually over a five year period.

Verify at: http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute.org/pdf/deportation.pdf

13. In 2006 illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances back to their countries of origin.

Verify at: http://www.rense.com/general75/niht.htm

14. 'The Dark side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One Million Sex Crimes Committed by Illegal Immigrants In The United States.'

Verify at: http://www.drdsk.com/articleshtml

The total cost is a whopping $338.3 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR.
Are we THAT stupid?
If this doesn't bother you then just delete the message.

Our Baptism July 27th, 2008

So it's taken me quite awhile to finally get around to recapping our amazing experience on my birthday, July 27th, when Tim and I decided to "take the plunge."

I was baptized when I was just a little girl and even though it was such a powerful experience, I still did not fully understand what I was doing.

Tim was baptized when he was just a baby, so we thought this was the perfect opportunity to get baptized together, now that we are adults and have a complete understanding of exactly what it means.

Pastor Brett, who married us, also ended up baptizing us, which was significant in so many ways. Our wedding day was meant to signify the joining of our lives into one and this day was meant to signify the joining of our lives with Christ as the center. Everything seemed to get very clear, as if I had other senses with which to enjoy the world; I saw the vivid outline of the beautiful surrounding trees against the sunny sky, heard the laughs and splashes from the kids playing just a few yards away, and the relished the sound of other believers standing on the shore singing praises.

The power of the moment was very tangible, especially as words of truth, grace and love poured out of Brett's mouth. I will never forget standing there hearing "every sin you've ever committed or will ever commit will be left behind today in this water. You are forgiven." I know that when we confess Jesus as our salvation that we are forgiven because we've accepted his free gift, but to physically accept that forgiveness is to outwardly express that belief. I always think of the dove descending on Jesus when he was baptized and saying he was pleased with his Son. Anything Jesus did I definitely want to emulate!

As Brett continued, I felt the strangest peace. There was a time in my life where I had gotten far away from the Lord and his ways and the reminder of what I've done had always kept me in a place of guilt/fear/bondage. There, in that river, that burden I'd been carrying fell off into those cool depths as I was lowered into the water...my sinful flesh breathing it's last breath...my new self being raised again as I emerged from the water...renewed. I could almost see a faint outline of my old sin-body as it drifted away...gone from me forever.

One thing that I know is that both Tim and I felt the touch of the Holy Spirit that day and even though we are still going to sin and make mistakes, we know that we are renewed, forgiven and full of new life. We look forward to seeing the outpouring from our commitment to the Lord in the coming days and years.

Love,
Shanna

My amazing husband Tim

So, I just have to gush today about how amazing my Timmy is and how good he is to me, even when I don't come close to deserving it. He is always a picture of God's grace in my life, a vessel through which the Father's love pours...

Anyway, we have been talking about what we can do for both of our birthday's coming up. Mine is July 27th and Tim's is July 31st, so we usually celebrate together.

Since we've been on our "total money makeover" plan, we are living on a very strict budget. We had already planned ahead over the past few months and saved $100 to do something special. I was thinking we might go to a nice dinner downtown and then to a movie-which would have been great! But Tim was already making plans of his own...

Let me just say that it's hard to suprise me. For whatever reason, I always guess or suspect when something's up-whether it's a sixth sense or just women's intuition, I always know about any suprises that come up. Of course I always pretend I don't know so that the person who's done the sweet thing doesn't feel bad. So knowing this, Tim just came out and told me a couple of days ago what he had done.

He set up a night away for us at the Grand Lodge McMenamin's in Forest Grove, with a package that included a $50 dinner and $20 breakfast voucher (because of course, we're all about the food :)). He had to cash one of his personal savings bonds in to give us a little extra $, which he had been saving to buy something for himself. I, on the other hand, spend extra money as fast as I get it...that's why he's in charge of our finances!

There are a lot of hiking trails around the area in the Tillamook State Forest so I think we'll go roam around in the woods Sat morning and maybe see a $3 movie Friday night...or go soak in the amazing outdoor spa they have.

I am truly blessed by the man that God has given to me to share my life with. While I don't need "things" and getaways to make me happy, he is thoughtful and sensitive enough to know that it brings me joy to have things to look forward to. Not only that, he is an incredible leader, is funny, smart, hard-working, loving, extremely good looking and my soul mate. How I ever got such a guy is beyond me, but I'm sure glad I've got him!

Anyway, I am excited about getting this weekend started! :)

Love, Shanna B

Joel Rosenberg's Latest Flash News

I absolutely love Joel Rosenberg. He delivers world news directly and Biblically, a real need given our own media is so one-sided when reporting the news to say the least. If you would like to suscribe to his newsletters, the website to sign up is:


http://link.ixs1.net/s/link/su?rc=al&rti=2495885&si=6178158548&pc=4s

* * * * FLASH TRAFFIC: WASHINGTON UPDATE * * * *
OBAMA IN THE EPICENTER


By Joel C. Rosenberg (Washington, D.C., July 22, 2008) -- The race for President of the United States is currently in a dead heat. I have absolutely no idea who is going to win this thing, and anyone who tells you they do is just guessing. Remember: a year ago, the pundits said Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton was a "sure thing" to win the Democratic nomination, and Sen. John McCain was a "sure thing" not to win the GOP nomination. The pundits were wrong then. I wouldn't put much stock in them now.



That said, Sen. Barack Obama faces a very real and daunting hurdle to victory in November. Only 48% of Americans think he would be a strong and decisive enough Commander-in-Chief to lead the U.S. through what could be a tumultous next four years, according to a poll released last week by ABC News. Another 48% are convinced Sen. Obama would specifically not be a good Commander-in-Chief. By contrast, 72% of Americans believe Sen. John McCain would lead our military forces well, while only 25% say he would not. Understand that gap and you'll understand precisely why Obama this week is in the epicenter.



With all eyes fixed on Israel and her neighbors and the conflicts that consume them, the junior Senator from Illinois realizes his international record does not inspire confidence. He has no military experience and precious little foreign policy experience, certainly none to compare with to Sen. McCain, a bonafide war hero who has been engaged in every major foreign policy debate of the last quarter century. To win in November, Obama has to close that perception gap. He has to convince more Americans that he is ready for whatever comes next, be it more terrorism from al Qaeda, or an orderly transition of power in Iraq, or -- heaven forbid -- a full blown war with Iran. So he is meeting with foreign leaders as well as U.S. military commanders on the ground in Afghanistan, Iraq, Jordan and Israel and hoping at the very least that the pictures Americans see on TV and in the newspapers from his whirlwind tour will cause them to begin to see him as a world leader and ease their many doubts.



While it's true that a picture is worth a thousand words, even a week's worth of photos may not be enough. After all, the Senator's core problem is not simply that he lacks the requisite experience. It's the widespread perception that he lacks the necessary judgment when it comes to the most troubling issues of the Middle East. Consider two examples, Iraq and Iran.



IRAQ



From the moment President Bush announced that he was taking Sen. McCain's advice to send more U.S. troops to Iraq to crush the insurgency and restore order, Sen. Obama has been a fierce critic of the "surge," arguing not only that it would not help, but that it would actually make the situation worse. "I am not persuaded that 20,000 additional troops in Iraq are going tosolve the sectarian violence there," Obama said on January 17, 2007. "In fact, I think it will do the reverse."



Eighteen months later, the results are in: the "surge" has been an astounding success. Things didn't get worse. They got better. Much better. Violent attacks against U.S. troops and Iraqi civilians are down 80%. More than 90% of Iraqi terroritory is now quite safe. More than 70% of combat operations in Iraq are now led by Iraqi forces, with U.S. assistance. Yet Sen. Obama struggles to acknowlege the success and refuses to describe his decision to vote against the "surge" as a mistake.



Consider this exchange yesterday with Terry Moran of ABC News.



Moran: "'[T]he surge of U.S. troops, combined with ordinary Iraqis' rejection of both al Qaeda and Shiite extremists have transformed the country. Attacks are down more than 80% nationwide. U.S. combat casualties have plummeted, five this month so far, compared with 78 last July, and Baghdad has a pulse again.' If you had to do it over again, knowing what you know now, would you -- would you support the surge?"



Obama: "No, because -- keep in mind that -"



Moran: "You wouldn't?"



Obama: "Well, no, keep -- these kinds of hypotheticals are very difficult. Hindsight is 20/20. I think what I am absolutely convinced of is that at that time, we had to change the political debate, because the view of the Bush administration at that time was one that I just disagreed with."



Moran: "And so, when pressed, Barack Obama says he still would have opposed the surge."



IRAN



In May of this year, Sen. Obama told a town hall meeting that he thought of Iran as small and relatively harmless country, hardly a major threat to the United States, Israel or our allies in the Middle East. "I mean think about it.," he told a group of supporters. "Iran, Cuba, Venezuela, these countries are tiny compared to the Soviet Union. They don't pose a serious threat to us the way the Soviet Union posed a threat to us....You know, Iran, they spend one-one hundredth of what we spend on the military."



His aides and advisors were horrified. Even Sen. Clinton conceded Iran was a major threat -- particularly given the regime's lust for nuclear weapons --though she refused to offer a plan to neutralize the threat.



So the next day, the Senator flip-flopped. He told a new audience a new story, that he actually does believe Iran is a threat.



But Obama's original, unscripted remarks were telling. In his heart, Sen. Obama does not actually believe the regime led by the Ayatollah Khameini and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad are deeply and inherently dangerous. He sees Iran as a nuisance, not a forthcoming nuclear-armed power. That is why he is so adamant about wanting to sit down and negotiate personally with Ahmadinejad, without preconditions. His official website actually boasts about this position. "Obama is the only major candidate who supports tough, direct presidential diplomacy with Iran without preconditions," it reads. But to what end?



Has Sen. Obama actually studied the speeches of Khameini and Ahmadinejad? Has he studied their eschatology, or end times theology? Has he been properly briefed on how this eschatology is driving Iranian foreign policy? No one who truly understands what the current Iranian leadership believes could honestly conclude that they can be successfully negotiated with, much less deterred. Ahmadinejad, after all, believes it is his God-given mission to annihilate the U.S., Israel and Judeo-Christian civilization as we know.



Why? To create the conditions that will bring the Islamic Messiah known as the Mahdi or the "12th Imam" to earth. Ahmadinejad is not just another power-hungry dictator in the mold of the Soviet or Chinese leaders of yore. He is a Shia Islamic fascist. He believes his life destiny is to kill millions of Jews and Christians and usher in an Islamic caliphate. He believes he is a John-the-Baptist, a forerunner, of the Islamic Messiah. If he dies, he believes he will spend eternity in paradise with 72 virgins. But he doesn't really believe he's going to die. He believes he has been chosen for a divine appointment, and that nothing can stop him. That is what makes him so dangerous. Unfortunately, too many Washington politicians -- Sen. Obama included -- do not understand this.



Bottom line: I am glad Sen. Obama and his team are traveling through the epicenter this week. My prayer is that aside from all the lights and cameras and political stagecraft, the Senator is able to hear and discern true wisdom about the actual conditions and trendlines in the region. I hope he is able to come away with a new sense of the high stakes of American failure or success in Iraq, and a palpable sense of the rising threat from Iran. The eyes of the nations are riveted on the Middle East for a reason. The future of the world increasingly depends on what happens there, and the future of America depends a great deal on having a President who understands the times and knows what the U.S. should do.

Fourth of July Camping Trip

Over the Fourth of July, we went on a camping trip to the beautiful Trask mountains (I had never been there before but it's only about an hour away from Newberg through Carton/Yamhill, etc). We went with 12 other people and of course, I volunteered to plan all the meals and do all the shopping...that was my first mistake! Oh well, it turned out great even though I felt like a needed a vacation from my vacation. The story of my life as an over-acheiver.

Anyway, we did some four-wheeling and the guys that came were into dirt bike riding so they were gone most of the three days on their adventures in the woods. Here are some pics of the campsite:

This was taken the ONLY day out of the three days we were there that the sun came out. The rest of the time it misted constantly and got very cold. Of course, I assumed that since the weather was in the 90's in Newberg before we left I didn't need to bring one stitch of warm clothing. Murphy always shows up when assuming is involved... so I had to borrow some things from my little sis. Here she is with her hubby, Jake...taken when we first arrived to our campsite.

Isn't she cute? It was her birthday on July 3rd (when this pic was taken) and since we're only 11 months apart, we're both 27 right now. It always tripped people out when we were younger when they asked us if we were twins and we responded with a smile, " No, but we're the same age." Hee hee...my birthday is July 27th so we're only the same age for three weeks but it was still fun to see the looks of confusion on people's faces... Here are some pics of my attempt to make her 27th birthday as special as it could be roughing it in the woods...homemade cake, pinwheels, dollar store tablecloth and all! :)

So, between cooking, cleaning and telling everyone what to do because no one else was taking any initiative (my forte ;)) I took some time for myself every morning to drink my coffee by the BEAUTIFUL creek/river we camped next to. My goodness, I can't even begin to explain the peace and the presence of God in that place (in all of nature for that matter). When you take away all the distractions of every day life: the cars, the cell phones, the radio, work, bills, and all the other noise that can cloud our vision/hearing of the Lord, you come face to face with the Creator. The Lord and I had some very good talks in those morning hours...I took a mental picture of the view from the little rock I sat on every morning so I could revisit it back in the chaos of this world.

It was my first time riding on a four-wheeler that weekend and my sis is a pro so I rode on the back of hers. It was raining (of course) when we went, so imagine going through the woods at around 25 mph with water slapping in your face, bouncing through potholes, leaning around corners, getting splashed with mud. It was an absolute blast but didn't help the fact that there were no showers to be had afterwards...

And this is us doing some poses by the river and cracking up the entire time: :) We are such nerds.

All in all it was such a fun trip. I could go camping every week if I had the opportunity! I put some other pics on my sidebar-check them out!

A Prayer

Lord,

Thank you for this beautiful day. Thank you for my wonderful husband, thank you for providing all the little things I need and throwing in some of my "wants" since you love me so much. Thank you for my family, my sister, my friends, my life.

Please help me Lord when my mind starts believing the lies of the enemy. Please clear away the cobwebs of confusion and deception in my mind and allow me to see you and others clearly. Please help me to understand that I exist to glorify you, that anything good in this life is a gift, not a given.

Please humble my heart when I pout like a child because I don't get what I want. Help guide me into what you have for me, into my purpose in being here. May I not be focused on what I can do for Shanna but what Shanna can do for others. Grant me self-control when I want to put unhealthy foods in my body, when I want to spend money I don't have, when I want to scream at the driver that just cut me off, when I get frustrated with myself or my husband.

Cover my house with peace and fill it with love. May you become a tangible presence, felt by all who dwell and visit there. Where there is anger, let there be peace, where there is sadness, let there be joy, where there is darkness, light. Where there is hatred let there be love, where there is a rollercoaster of emotion, let there be stability and self control. Where there is roughness, let there be gentleness, where there is defiance, let there be submission.

I pray you take all of me that is molded so far and squish me back down on the potter's wheel. I want to be remade: stronger, more beautiful inside, wholly and completely submitted, dedicated, sold-out and in love with you.

Yours in Jesus' name,
Shanna

Commentaries on 2008 Candidates

I thought this was important enough to share; the more we can get the word out about what Obama REALLY stands for, and what the McCain's ACTUALLY stand for, the better. Please pass onto anyone and everyone you know.

I don't know how many of you read Thomas Sowell (probably all of you) but he is as brilliant as Buckley & Will, and I cannot get enough of his stuff. This is the most eloquent appraisal of the current political race ever presented and coming from a black man makes it ever so much more important.

An Old NewnessBy Thomas SowellTuesday, April 29, 2008

Many years ago, a great hitter named Paul Waner was nearing the end of his long career. He entered a ball game with 2,999 hits -- one hit away from the landmark total of 3,000, which so many hitters want to reach, but which relatively few actually do reach.Waner hit a ball that the fielder did not handle cleanly but the official scorer called it a hit, making it Waner's 3,000th. Paul Waner then sent word to the official scorer that he did not want that questionable hit to be the one that put him over the top.The of ficial scorer reversed himself and called it an error.

Later Paul Waner got a clean hit for number 3,000.What reminded me of this is the great fervor that many seem to feel over the prospect of the first black President of the United States. No doubt it is only a matter of time before there is a black president, just as it was only a matter of time before Paul Waner got his 3,000th hit. The issue is whether we want to reach that landmark so badly that we are willing to overlook how questionably that landmark is reached.

Paul Waner had too much pride to accept a scratch hit. Choosing a President of the United States is a lot more momentous than a baseball record. We the voters need to have far more concern about who we put in that office that holds the destiny of a nation and of generations yet unborn. There is no reason why someone as arrogant, foolishly clever and ultimately dangerous as Barack Obama should become president -- especially not at a time when the threat of international terrorists with nuclear weapons looms over 300 million Americans.

Many people seem to regard elections as occasions for venting emotions, like cheering for your favorite team or choosing a Homecoming Queen.The three leading candidates for their party's nomination are being discussed in terms of their demographics -- race, sex and age -- as if that is what the job is about.One of the painful aspects of studying great catastrophes of the past is discovering how many times people were preoccupied with trivialities when they were teetering on the edge of doom. The demographics of the presidency are far less important than the momentous weight of responsibility that office carries.

Just the power to nominate federal judges to trial courts and appellate courts across the country, including the Supreme Court, can have an enormous impact for decades to come. There is no point feeling outraged by things done by federal judges, if you vote on the basis of emotion for those who appoint them.

Barack Obama has already indicated that he wants judges who make social policy instead of just applying the law. He has already tried to stop young violent criminals from being tried as adults. Although Senator Obama has presented himself as the candidate of new things -- using the mantra of "change" endlessly -- the cold fact is that virtually everything he says about domestic policy is straight out of the 1960s and virtually everything he says about foreign policy is straight out of the 1930s.

Protecting criminals, attacking business, increasing government spending, promoting a sense of envy and grievance, raising taxes on people who are productive and subsidizing those who are not -- all this is a re-run of the 1960s.We paid a terrible price for such 1960s notions in the years that followed, in the form of soaring crime rates, double-digit inflation and double-digit unemployment. During the 1960s, ghettos across the countries were ravaged by riots from which many have not fully recovered to this day.The violence and destruction were concentrated not where there was the greatest poverty or injustice but where there were the most liberal politicians, promoting grievances and hamstringing the police.

Internationally, the approach that Senator Obama proposes -- including the media magic of meetings between heads of state -- was tried during the 1930s. That approach, in the name of peace, is what led to the most catastrophic war in human history. Everything seems new to those too young to remember the old and too ignorant of history to have heard about it.
Thomas Sowell is a senior fellow at the Hoover Institut e and author of Basic Economics: A Citizen's Guide to the Economy.

NO TROPHY WIFE ....things you might not have known

In many ways, Cindy McCain stacks up sturdier than Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama. And she'd make a more impressive first lady.

Mrs. McCain: More than meets the eye.While Obama's wife has been hating America, complaining about the war and undermining our troops serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, McCain's wife has been worrying about her sons who actually are fighting or planning to fight in the war on terror. One, in fact, was until a few months ago deployed in Iraq during some of the worst violence.

You don't hear the McCain's talk about it, but their 19-year-old Marine, Jimmy, is preparing for his second tour of duty. Their 21-year-old son, Jack, is poised to graduate from Annapolis and also could join the Marines as a second lieutenant. The couple made the decision not to draw attention to their sons out of respect for other families with sons and daughters in harm's way.

Cindy also says she doesn't want to risk falling apart on the campaign trail talking about Jimmy, who was so young when he enlisted she had to sign consent forms for his medical tests before he could report for duty, and potentially upsetting parents of soldiers who are serving or have been killed.The McCain's want to make sure their boys get no special treatment. Same goes for their five other children, including a daughter they adopted from Bangladesh. During a visit to Mother Teresa's orphanage there, Cindy noticed a dying baby. The orphanage could not provide the medical care needed to save her life. So she brought the child home to America for the surgery she desperately needed. The baby is now their healthy, 16-year-old daughter, Bridget.

Though all seven McCain children, including two Sen. McCain adopted from his first marriage, are supportive of their father. They prefer their privacy to the glare of the campaign trail. Another daughter, Meghan, 23, helps him behind the scenes. Cindy McCain not only cherishes her children, but also her country, which in an election year filled with America-bashing, is a refreshing novelty. She seethed when she heard Michelle Obama's unpatriotic remarks that she only recently grew proud of America. "I am very proud of my country," Mrs. McCain asserted.

She also may be tougher than the other women in the race. While Hillary thinks she's come under sniper fire on mission trips abroad, Cindy has actually seen violence. She witnessed a boy get blown up by a mine in Kuwait during a trip with an international group that removes land mines from war-torn countries. Mrs. McCain also is a hands-on philanthropist. She sits on the board of Operation Smile, which arranges for plastic surgeons to fix cleft palates and other birth defects.

She also has helped organize relief missions to Micronesia.During a scuba-diving vacation to the islands, Mrs. McCain took a friend to a local hospital to have a cut treated. She was shocked, and saddened, by what she saw."They opened the door to the OR, where the supplies were, and there were two cats and a whole bunch of rats climbing out of the sterile supplies," she recalled. "They had no X-ray machine, no beds. To me, it was devastating because it was a U.S. trust territory."As soon as she returned home, she arranged for medical equipment and teams of doctors to be sent to treat the island children.

Michelle Obama may contribute to CARE, which fights global poverty and works to empower poor women. Cindy McCain sits on its board of Directors. While the Democrat women talk about helping the poor and ne edy, Cindy McCain actually rolls up her sleeves and does it. Who's the out-of-touch elitist?


IN GOD WE TRUST

Our "NEW" House!

No longer the "green machine" as Tim so lovingly calls it, here are some pics of our house we finally got painted this last weekend. We're trying to put it on the market to see if any young couple (or old I guess) will see not only the investment potential but that it would make the perfect first starter house.

You'll have to excuse my amateur photography skills-the pictures came out crooked...but before I reveal the new paint job, here are some pics of what our house used to look like (the neighbors tell us it glowed at them)...

Look how cute (minus the paint job)! Only 850 square feet but it's been perfect for us...and now that it's painted I might have to rethink selling it!

The guy that Tim bought this from (before we even met so it was TRULY the perfect bachelor pad) was really into fishing-and I think he was also a little color blind. But it was a perfectly good paint job...just a horrible chartruese green.

Ok, now here's the new and improved house:

Look! We have roses! Before they kind of blended in with the blinding green; the first thing our neighbor across the street said was "I didn't know you had roses!" They've been there all along.

So....after you've seen this little cutie...anyone want to BUY it? It's a very good deal and has been meticulously maintained and has a lot of new upgrades/remodels. I won't bore you with the details here but if you're interested, email me at timandshannab@gmail.com.

Love and blessings!

Shanna B

My Journey Part 1

I have always been a dreamer.

Prone to laying outside when I was a little girl, staring at shapes in the clouds drifting by in the warm Colorado summer sun, the cool grass of the front lawn poking through my clothes, thinking about life and what it would hold for me.

I would stand on our front porch and sing every song I knew, and then every song out of that old Campfire song book until my throat hurt and my voice was a croak. I would ride my bike from dawn until dusk, not wanting to miss one moment of life or one minute of fresh Rocky Mountain air in my lungs. I would play football and build forts with the boys in the neighborhood, but still had a healthy collection of Barbie dolls and "girl" toys. I would eat as much as my little skinny body could handle, make up dances with my sister, pretend to be grown up, play dress up...

I was full of song, of life, of passion, dreams, and a deep, unwavering faith. My parents raised my sister and I in a house where Jesus was the center; for that I am forever grateful! Still, there were things in my childhood-as there are in every household-that caused damage in me even to this day.

As long as I can remember, I always wanted attention. I wanted to be noticed by the boys at a very early age, I wanted affirmation on a job well done, wanted to be first in my class, teacher's pet, amazing athlete, beautiful singer, popular-I guess part of being a first-born. I craved praise for anything I did well and when I received it I made sure I would do even better the next time. It was a like a drug and I went through withdrawals and bouts of gloomy moods when I didn't get it. I can remember my father telling me to act my age more than once-all I wanted to do was to grow up and be on my own.

I came to know the Lord Jesus at a very young age and remember sitting next to my mother in our old Gateway church, light pouring in through the stained glass windows and onto the polished wooden pews, looking up into the rafters and asking the Lord to come into my heart. I had always had a deep connection to God from the moment I was born and an even deeper love for the Lord after that moment because now I had recognized that I was flawed. He was my best friend and Savior that had died for me so I could live with him in eternity.

As I grew, my dependency on praise and affirmation became more dramatic and I would be devestated if I wasn't invited to a certain party or didn't get a call from a boy or got a B on a paper. There was a splintered fragment in my personality, in the deep cavity of my soul that longed to be loved and filled. My mother showed me her love for me in tangible ways-a trip to the library on a lazy, rainy summer afternoon or a trip to the pool with Big Hunks to eat for a treat, millions of kisses and "I love you's", dinners prepared and fingers toiled. My dad showered me with love as well, the only way he knew how- by working. He broke his back at work at graveyard shifts and driving truck so that I could have nice things, go to a Christian school, know what it was like to truly be a child without any cares in the world. I knew he loved me but we didn't have an emotional relationship to speak of. He came from the stock that children should only speak when spoken to and he thought we were without opionions, free thought, etc. I love my sweet father and today we have an amazing relationship-he's taught me so much.

But I lacked the emotional connection that I needed as a little girl, that he was unable to provide by no fault of his own. That would prove to be the "chink" in my armor years later...

The Browning DEBT

So this is going to be a lesson in humility for me but not a self-loathing/lashing session like I normally put myself through when I make mistakes. God is teaching me so much through this struggle and every day I learn of His perfect grace and mercy.

I am planning on sharing my complete testimony each week in parts in the hopes that I might encourage and help others who may be headed down the wrong path. This might seem out of place but my testimony has a lot to do with how I got myself into not only a physical debt but a spiritual and emotional debt as well.

But onto the subject at hand: The Browning DEBT-or more accurately SHANNA'S DEBT.

I came into our marriage with $25,000 of credit card debt...I can almost hear the gasps of those who are reading this. I know, I know, I don't understand how I could have accumulated that much debt either, but there it is. After years of "free" living, traveling, etc., my choices had caught up to me. And unfortunately, it affected the love of my life that I never thought I'd meet.

Tim and I discussed my debt before we got married so he knew what he was marrying into. Some marry into money, some marry into a money pit. I was the money pit, but Tim has never looked back and has shouldered most of the burden it's put on our marriage and our lifestyles. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not filled with regret and remorse for the decisions I've made. If only I could have seen into the future to see what it would have done to my future husband, I know I would have made better decisions.

But again, all of that is water under the bridge and I can no longer live in that place of the past. All I have control over is what I do from this point forward and intention to live right, be a wise steward of my money and try to stick as close to our budget as possible to take some of the stress off of Tim.

We created a budget when we first got married that we still use today. It's important just like anything else in life to have a plan. Just like someone who wants to lose weight: by keeping a food journal of what is going in and what is burned (calories in, calories out), you can control how much you weigh. It's the same with debt. No one can be in control of their finances if they have no idea how much they're spending...usually they find out when checks start to bounce or their account overdraws. That was the story of my life and that's part of the reason why I got into so much debt.

Our budget is a simple excel spreadsheet that lists all of our bills by pay period (example: 1st- 15th and the 16th-30th). There is a total sum of our income for that time frame, a total sum of all the exact amount of our bills and a balance of what's leftover. There is also an "extras" column, where we list all of our non-monthly expenses we'll have for that particular month. For example, Mother's Day was in May and we knew we would incur an extra expense outside our normal budget. Or, if I need makeup or Tim needs protein or if we need oil changes or know we're going to need a gift for a wedding, we put it in the "extras". Everything else goes to savings.

It's been amazing using this system because when you sit down and add up just how much you're spending on eating out, coffee, etc it's quite a shocker (when we were dating we probably spent $500 a month eating out!). Tim and I decided that a reasonable amount of personal spending money would be $25 per week. We also decided that $50 per week would be plenty to go out to eat once a week and maybe see a movie. But that's it. No additional expenses over and above what's on our budget. We have a goal to not use our debit cards at all once we've pulled all the cash out that we need for two weeks. It helps us to stay on track because you have a physical reminder of just how much you have left to spend, whereas a debit card is so easy and convenient and you don't see the money leaving your account.

Now, to the good part and how amazing the Lord is. I have gotten about $7,500 in bonuses from my job in the past three months (after taxes about $5,000) and Tim has been working overtime to supplement my income so all of my paychecks could go towards debt (our "debt plan"). We have been able to pay off $10,000 of the $25,000 debt in three months!!! We have been paying the minimum payments for the last year and a half of our marriage and finally got all of them under the limit back in January. We then consolidated 3 of our smaller ones into a 0% interest for 1 year low balance transfer fee credit card so every cent of our payments go towards the principal. I would suggest that to anyone struggling with high-interest credit cards. Bank of America has a great card offer right now with the same type of this and the balance transfer fee was a maximum of $75. Some companies charge you 3% of the total so you end up adding more debt.

It's amazing how God just keeps on giving because we've been faithful stewards of our money, our time, our tithing (as much as we can). It feels so good to actually LEARN from a mistake and even though it's hard (do you know what we could DO with that money???!) God is so completely faithful. He always shines a light and brings a blessing in the midst of darkness. Our plan is to be out of debt in about 5 months with Tim's blood, sweat and tears along with another $2,500 in bonuses from my company before the year is out. Then we are going to CELEBRATE!!!

Anyway, I hope some of you are encouraged by this! If you ever want to see an example of my budget, I would love to send it to you!

Blessings-Shanna

The Power of Positive Thinking

I have been reading this book by Norman Vincent Peale, taking it with a grain of salt as some of it borders on new age philosophy. However, he was a minister and a Christian psychologist so his insights are pretty poignant.

Anyway, there was something that really stood out to me when I was reading the other night that I wanted to share. He was talking about how hapiness is a choice; it's not something that comes naturally to us since we live in a world filled with disapointments, struggles and hardships. It's something that we have to CHOOSE TO BE every single morning. Instead of waking up thinking "this is going to be the worst day ever" or "today is going to be a struggle" and choosing gloominess and unhappiness, he suggests lying in bed for a few extra minutes before getting up. Begin going over in your mind all of the positive, good things that you want to happen that day; envision how you're going to interact with your children, with your husband, with others around you. Then, say "This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it" three times out loud.

Again, this isn't a perscription or using the Bible as some self-help book but I guess if there's any self-help book to read, it WOULD be the Bible! And truly, the power and strength to be the person you want to be does ultimately come from JESUS and not from any human power. I think in addition to adding positive "happy" thinking to the beginning of my day it has to be coupled with reading from the Word and asking the Lord to bless my day, bless my efforts and bless those around me by my attitude and actions.

Anyway, just thought I would share!

A carrot, egg and coffee

My mom forwarded this to me on an email and thought I would share!

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how thingswere so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it andwanted to give up, she was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed asone problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.' 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outershell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, every circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst , you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself toanother level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes a long their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyonearound you is crying. May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!

Waiting on the Lord Devo # 2

Today is a struggle. Not only is it a Monday but I am having one of those days where I don't "feel" my faith. It's one of those days where believing and trusting is a choice. It's easy to get distracted by the lies in my head telling me that certain things aren't happening for me because of the things that I've done and even now because of my struggle to keep the faith. If I'm not careful I could definitely fall face first off the cliff of despair and depression...which would take a while to climb out of once I'm at the bottom.

So, I keep hanging on and trusting the Lord even when I don't feel like it and trusting that He will be true to His promises. I keep presenting my requests to Him, waiting on Him with expectation: "In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:3

I continue to wait in strength and courage for the desires and cries of my heart...

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry." Psalm 40:1

I continue to try to follow His precepts and honor Him in my actions, knowing that it's only my heart that counts, knowing that I will mess up and fail, but that the Lord sees how hard I'm trying. He will not hold my mistakes against me and withhold good things from my life just because I've sinned. As long as I recognize I'm a sinner and make the effort to change, to accept his gift of grace every day and do my best to honor him, that is all that matters. I have to remind myself that He is not a God of punishment. That is what I cling to when I feel the pull of that darkness.

"Wait for the Lord, and keep his way."Psalm 37:34

"I wait for you, O Lord; you will answer, O Lord my God" Psalm 38:15

"I will wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I will follow your commands." Psalm 119:166

"Yes, LORD, walking in the ways of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desires of our hearts." Isaiah 26:8

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isaiah 30:18

And as I wait, I will HOPE. Hope is defined many ways in the dictonary, but the few that stood out to me are: " a person or thing in which expectations are centered", "to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence", " to place trust; rely", "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best." The Bible also gives us instances of hope in conjuction with waiting, as hope is something that hasn't happened yet but has the expectation that something will.

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord, more than watchmen wait for the morning; more than watchment wait for the morning." Psalm 130:5-6

I love this verse. Towns used to have watchmen out in towers keeping watch over the cities at night. I'm sure as all of us know it's very hard to stay awake all night and we watch for the first light of day to tell us our trying time is coming to an end and we can finally go to sleep. Just the picture of the intesity and fervent desire to see the daylight is so beautiful to me. It's also a promise, that after a long, dark "night" which can represent a trial or struggle, morning WILL come. It's inevitable that the sun will rise; we just have to be patient and wait for it.

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7

Have a blessed day!

The Flower 4/22/08 By Shanna L Browning

A delicate flower is
Closed tightly around herself,
She protects her heart from the world around her
Letting nothing in or out
Each day is the same,
with no new experiences or adventures
No bees or wind able to gather pollen
To spread the seeds of life
No dazzling view of the sun; only darkness
But that same Sun pursues the little flower
Day after day, coaxing her to open her heart to him
So he can shine his light and in turn, give life
She feels the warmth from the outside in
And her curiosity is peaked
She slowly and cautiously opens one of her petals
To peek out at this familiar friend whom she has never seen
She gasps as she is met with a blinding rush of light;
Her eyes are not accustomed
To such radiance
after living in her dark cave for so long
She wants to shut herself up again,
but the warmth she felt from the outside
is nothing compared to the soothing, almost musical touch of the Sun
she now feels at her core
She closes her eyes and breathes deep, and slowly, so slowly,
releases the rest of her defenses,
fully blooming and basking in the light
She comes to life with a new peace,
guided by her friend, Creator, Savior
and shares with those around her
not only with a beautiful fragrance
but with the new growth of pollen
she’s suddenly developed by exposing
the deepest part of her to the Light.

Thought of the day

This might be an obvious statement, but whenever God wants to teach me something, I hear the lesson everywhere.

Today in my daily devotions, I was reading in I John-which is one of my FAVORITE books-and what I was reading spoke so directly to the things I've been struggling with I got chills (then I got in the car and heard it on the radio). Not only do I struggle with waiting on the Lord but in how I view him, how I treat others because of how I view myself, etc. I've been trying to overcome negative self-talk and negative, critical thoughts of myself it seems for most of my "adult" life. It's such a deep, every day issue that it's become a norm in my life-it's to the point where it's woven into the fabric of my life so the only chance of removal is ripping and tearing it out...

The thing that struck me in these (and other) passages is how many times John talks about LOVING OTHERS.

"We know we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers" I John 3:14

"And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us." I John 3:23

This concept is also found in Luke 10:27 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind (also in Deut 6:5); and Love your neighbor as yourself (Lev. 19:18)."

Ok, here's my thought: if I'm supposed to love my neighbor as myself but I hate myself or critisize myself or compare myself with others instead of loving myself, I am not fulfilling the second most important commandment in the entire Bible. I think as Christians we want to make sure we remind ourselves that we are not deserving of God's grace (in fact we are not) to the point where we walk around in a slump thinking we're not good enough, not worthy of anyone or anything.

I truly believe that Satan has me in a stronghold and if I'm not careful it can really affect my witness and purpose here on earth. I think loving yourself (not in a weird, new-age, all-about-me way but with an attitude of humility and acceptance of grace) is a key part to..."love your neighbor AS YOURSELF." That's what the verse says. I think it's one thing to point out that we are saved by grace and yet another to try to take Jesus's place on the cross (thus stealing its power), to try to somehow punish ourselves enough so we can feel better about the things we've done.

God has been speaking to me for a long time about this; it's such an emotional issue my eyes can't help but water. It's all about "replacing the tapes" as my counselor mother-in-law would say. Instead of thinking "I am such a failure, I am such a sinner, I am worthless, I am stupid, I am ugly, I am fat, no one likes me, no one values me, I have to be perfect to be loved, I wish I was this, I wish I was that, I'm a horrible person, wife, mother..." whatever it may be, we need to replace that negative self talk with the truth of God's word.

What is his truth?

Well, here are some to replace those lies:

My lie: "I am worthless". God's truth: The very hairs on my head are numbered, His thoughts towards me are as many as all the grains of sand on all the beaches, I am worth much more than sparrows, whom he feeds and clothes, while I was still a sinner, Christ died for ME.

My lie: "I am ugly or fat". God's truth: He created my inmost being and knit me together in my mother's womb, I am his beautiful creation, and that while beauty is nice, it is fleeting...a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31.30 Also, one of my favorites: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

My lie: "I am not good enough; I'm a failure." God's truth: "And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace." Romans 11:6 "not by works, so that no one can boast." Eph 2:9 I don't have to be good enough because Jesus was the perfect atonement for all my shortcomings, every sin I have comitted or will commit. He knows that we are sinful and has forgiven us all our sins. All we have to do is confess that we have sinned and accept His gift of grace. No self-inflicted punishment, shame, or guilt should be born out of our mistakes-he bore all of that and "finished it."

Another underlying cause of these thoughts that the Lord revealed to me is FEAR. It seems like a lot of things stem from fear: Anger stems from fear, defensiveness stems from fear, and the obvious-anxiety stems from fear...back to I John 4:18: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is made perfect in love."

Wow. This verse always hits home with me. When we try to be perfect and beat ourselves up when we're not, I think one of the reasons is because we're afraid we're going to get "in trouble" or punished for making a mistake. It's as if we think God won't love us anymore-this is esp true if we've ever had an experience where we've felt conditionally loved (which is the case in all our human relationships I think) and in turn view God in the same light. The truth is, God loves us. Period.

Finally, this verse sums it up...although I could go on and on about this topic! :)

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This, then is how we know we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."

Waiting on the Lord Devo #1

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. BE STILL before the Lord and wait patiently for him..." Psalm 37:4-7

This entire passage has been one of my long-time favorties. I love the promises of the Lord to his children.

As some of you know, we have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now. I know there are some girls in the church struggling with the same thing and unless you've been there you can't understand the fear, the pain and the emotional struggle to understand "why?". However, my faith would be nothing if I didn't turn to God in this time and KNOW that he is faithful, he is just and his timing is PERFECT.

This passage is especially poignent to my situation; to "BE STILL" before the Lord and to wait patiently for him" is the complete opposite of my natural tendencies. I like to talk about things, to get them off my chest even though I don't think God means literally to be quiet here. I do think he means to sit quietly before him in Spirit, in the quietness of our hearts so he can speak to us instead of trying to do things ourselves. Even though the pslam is talking about the wicked succeeding and not to worry about that but wait patiently for God to clear our names, etc, I also take the verse that talks about making "your righteousness to shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun" to mean that he WILL come, he WILL answer and his perfect will is going to be done if we let him.

The second part of that verse is to WAIT on the Lord. I looked this up on an online commentary and the definition they gave about waiting was "Be submissive-avoid petulance and murmerings, anger and rash doing." Goodness. Submission for me is impossible without God's help. We have learned our entire lives (especially as women through the media and examples in our lives, etc) to be strong, self-sufficient and independent. I went through Judy's Bible study about loving your husband, and submission was the underlying key topic. This is one of my weak points and something I struggle with tremedously, as the Lord knows. I came from a long line of "strong" independent women who aren't afraid to make their opinions known even when it might be better in some situations to be quiet. So being a "quiet, gentle" woman is not something that comes naturally to me but something I truly strive for. That's a whole other topic in itself!

I think the Lord is teaching me huge lessons through this waiting period in our lives. 1) To "consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

AND

2) Waiting in faith in him (because he WILL come through as he says he's going to-even if it's not with the answer we want) and how to wait patiently for things. We are to trust "on" him to do the things that we cannot...just as the recent passage we studied in Matthew 6:27 talks about "Who by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" All we do is drive ourselves crazy (and everyone else around us!) when truly what God wants us to do is stop, quiet our hearts, draw close to him and hear his voice. Instead of worrying and thinking negative thoughts, we should "delight ourselves in the Lord" for then he will give us the desires of our hearts.

Isn't is amazing how the entire Bible ties together? These in-depth studies are amazing to me because it allows things to "click" in my mind. The bottom line in the things that we desire or seek after is that our number one focus should be seeking the kingdom of God. Then our sweet Jesus, who loves us so much and can't wait to shower blessings on us, will add all of the other things he knows we need and desire to our lives (Matt 6:33). But he has to be first in our hearts I believe in order to fully give us these tremendous blessings.

My prayer is that I can truly wait on the Lord during this time in my life; I hope that others of you that are going through similar situations are encouraged by this study! May God always be glorified.

Blessings! Shanna