Head to Toes

The following came to me during a night of rocking Samuel for some bedtime snuggles. The lights turned off, the rush of the day is settling into the quiet of night, where thoughts and prayers have room to breathe-my absolute favorite time of day.

I think about the preciousness of motherhood often, but it hit me that Tim and I are actually responsible for teaching this little man to grow in the ways of the Lord. It knocks the breath out of me just thinking about the weightiness of it. How can people as flawed and weak as us act as examples to an impressionable little mind that's soaking everything in like a sponge? The truth is, we can't. But Jesus can. Along with this prayer for Samuel, I pray every night that Jesus covers up my ugliness and that Sam only sees Him. It's the only hope I've got! That and praying for my boy from his precious little head to his ever-growing little toes...

To my Sam bug:

Head

I pray that your mind will always be stayed on our Lord Jesus Christ, who is the author of not only peace, but the perfecting work of faith in your life. Don’t become haughty and puffed up with empty knowledge, even though there is a time and a place for learning, but understand that love builds up and lifts up and is more important than being a know-it-all.

I Corinthians 8:1

Eyes

I pray that your eyes see the hurting people of this world. I pray that you would see the world as the Lord sees it, and where He may use you. I pray that you become vigilant about exactly what you let your eyes see, for they are the windows to your soul. In this world of pornography, violence and moral filth, be on guard against darkening your spiritual body by allowing those things into your life.

Matthew 6:22

Ears

I pray that you listen carefully to the word of God speaking to you. Just like Samuel in the Bible, learn to listen to God’s voice, and may your response always be: “Here am I.” I pray that you remain teachable and open to hearing the perspectives of others. Not that you should ever be swayed from the truth of the Word, but so you can grow and learn and realize that there are people with different viewpoints than yours. It shows respect and a love that God requires of us as Christians.

I Samuel 3

Mouth

I pray that you guard your tongue, for in it is the power of life and death. The Bible says it’s a little part of the body but has the capability of doing great damage. We will be held accountable for every word we speak. May you always strive in self-control to speak words of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and gentleness. May your words always stay “salty” with the truth of the gospel.

James 3:2-10, Proverbs 18:21, Matthew 5:13-16

Heart

Oh that you would become a man who is completely sold out to Jesus. Who doesn’t indulge his passions in earthly lusts and pleasures, but daily communes and walks with God. If there’s any advice I can give you-go “all in” on this one. Lay your heart with all its dreams and desires on the altar and just see what adventures the Lord will take you on. May you always be filled with the overwhelming love of God so you can overwhelm others with love.

Matthew 22;37

Hands

I pray that your hands would always be open: to offer a hand up to a person in need, in praise to your Jesus, to help others, to “put on” the sacrificial nail-pierced hands of our Savior to reach out and minister to others with whatever strengths God has given you. May your strong hands never be used for unnecessary violence or mischief, but may there always be meekness in their strength. For that’s what a real man is-meek, yet strong enough to stand up for those being bullied or those who are hurting or those who are abused, and knowing exactly when to use that strength. May God give you discernment and wisdom in all things.  

Mark 10:45, Matthew 5:5

Stomach

I pray that you would never allow yourself to be subject to any idol. It’s just an analogy, but never let your stomach be your god. Always be ruled by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God, and make sure to keep Jesus seated on his rightful throne in your life. Always make him number one and the other things that you’re seeking will fall into place.

Philippians 3:19, Matthew 6:33

Feet

I pray that your feet would be “fitted with readiness that comes from the gospel of peace”. I pray that they wouldn’t be drawn to dark, secret places to do deeds of unrighteousness and thus allow the rest of you to be subject to the fiery darts of the enemy. Instead, I pray that you would put on the full armor of God, ready to stand and fight any temptation that comes your way, that you would take up your cross daily and follow Jesus.

Ephesians 6:10-17

Sunbeams

To our dear, sweet Samuel on your first birthday:

You came screaming into this world on a clear August morning, and the sound of your cry is something we will remember for the rest of our lives. From the moment you breathed your first breath, your determination and passion shone through. The first time we looked at your perfect face, your mop of black hair, your tiny fingers and toes, the shock that you were finally here coursed through us. Life would never be the same.

Waiting to go into the delivery room to meet you

Daddy and you after your first bath

Beautiful, perfect...you

The first few months were challenging. You were so tiny and so hungry. We had had so many years without you that it was like we had moved to an alien planet filled with crying at all hours of the night, endless dirty diapers, spit up and exhaustion. But through it all the only emotion we felt was this overwhelming love for you, washing over us in great big waves, crashing down around us and filling us with the most unspeakable awe: you were part of US, flesh and blood. Such a miracle…

Each month-really each day-you grew and discovered something new. At a month old you wouldn’t go anywhere without your binky. Our trips out of the house were short and our snuggle times in the leather recliner were long. You were lifting your head at 3 days old, so we knew you were going to be strong.

Going home

1 month old

Snuggles with Daddy

At two months old you liked to be wrapped tightly in your swaddle because you were colicky. You got very sick with a bad virus and Mama had to sleep in your room with you to make sure you were ok. You sounded like a little pig when you slept.

2 months old

Your first Halloween as a police baby

 At three months old you discovered “the baby” in the mirror and how to roll yourself over. You started smiling and giggling when we kissed your tummy. You started sleeping through the night! You also got dedicated to the Lord at church, and we pray every day that you become a man who is passionately in love with Jesus.

Discovering your "self" in the mirror

Pastor Brett dedicating you to the Lord

3 months old

At four months old you got your first bottom two teeth and drooled all over the place. You had your first plane ride to grandma and grandpa’s house in Idaho for your very first Christmas. You loved to babble and coo and smile at everyone wherever we went. You started sitting unassisted without toppling over.

Little Elf in Training

Grandma and Grandpa Hazard

You and Mama

First Christmas in Idaho

 At five months you started noticing Kona pup and getting really excited when she came in the room. You loved to go outside and play with your toys on a blanket.

At six months you were rolling over from back to front and front to back, babbling like crazy, laughing, grabbing mom and dad's faces along with anything you could get your hands on to put in your mouth, getting close to crawling and loved your jumparoo. You used to get going so fast that your wild hair would get even wilder. The joy we felt at seeing you enjoying yourself with reckless abandon is inexpressible. Sock monkey was your favorite stuffed animal and you loved your bath!

6 Months

6 Month Cake Daddy brought home to celebrate

 

Snuggly after your bath

At seven months you were standing unassisted against the back of the couch and you laughed so loud when we tickled your tummy. You liked it when daddy threw you in the air. You had your first haircut and looked even more like daddy when your wild hair got buzzed off! You started scooting on the ground on your tummy, reaching for toys and bouncing like crazy in your door jumper. You played like a good boy in it during dinner time.

7 Months

You and your Kona pup

Door jumper fun!

 At eight months mama had to have surgery to get her back fixed and grandma and grandpa visited to help out. You started running around the driveway in your walker and loved chasing grandpa around in it.

Playing around with Grandpa Hazard

8 Months

Outside in your walker

First Easter

At nine months you were officially crawling…fast! You were getting into everything and discovered the dog food bowl…and the dog water, which ended up all over the floor if we weren’t fast enough to put it up out of your reach. You started to understand who mama was and you let the world know you didn’t like to be without her by crying if she left the room. Your smile got bigger, and got filled in by 6 more teeth!!

9 Months

On a date with sock monkey

Fun at the park!

At ten months you were standing up and cruising along the furniture, taking the falls and bumps like a brave boy. Your favorite foods were (and still are) scrambled eggs with cheese, green beans and sweet potatoes. Your favorite toy was an empty plastic water bottle and you got another haircut. You also flew on a plane for the second time in your life to the Hazard family reunion in Colorado and you did great!

Having fun in Colorado

Handsome boy

10 month scrunch face

At eleven months you were “walking” with assistance, loved to growl like a dinosaur, your first words were “mama”, then “hi” then “dada”, you started using sounds like “eh” and “ah” to communicate what you wanted, loved playing with Kona and chasing her around the yard with daddy. Your favorite toys were your story books. You would sit and “read” them quite contentedly.

11 Months

Playing with your books

Playing in the sunbeams

At twelve months, you had your first birthday with your very own cow cake, which you devoured by smashing your face in it. Grandma and Grandpa Hazard came over from Idaho and helped with your party. Mama and Dada got you your big bear as a gift-Gus-Gus- which you looked at with love and awe. You visited him in your room (and still do) often to have wrestling matches. You had your first trip to the beach to visit Grandpa Dan and Grandma Aelese and were scared of the sand, but you were content on daddy’s shoulders and loved smacking daddy’s head. Grandma Browning, who just went to heaven, got you your very own John Deere tractor to ride around in...when you're old enough to understand how to drive it. She loved seeing you smile and hearing you say "dada."

Devouring your cake

First Birthday

Cow Cake

Grandma and Grandpa Hazard

First time at the beach

Our days this last year have been overflowing with miracles, morning story time, middle of the night snuggles, visiting the library, pj’s with giraffe and dinosaur feet, giggles, tears, new discoveries, new milestones, race cars and stuffed animals-your “friends”, teething, new foods, and adventures in your car seat running errands with mama. Our lives have never been richer. We are so proud of you-how smart, kind, funny and passionate boy the Lord has made you to be, our little “bug.”

Before we had you, I wrote a letter to you, even though in those days I sincerely believed that the dream of you would never become a reality. But I still wanted to dream…and hope. We thought you’d be a girl and we would name you Sophia, but the Lord had other plans. I was sitting in our living room one day, watching the dust mites float in the beams of sunshine streaming through the window and feeling the bone-deep ache of emptiness only those who aren’t able to have children can relate to. I let myself hope and imagined that someday, the desire of my heart made flesh-YOU- would be playing in that very spot.

After a long, trying, faith-testing journey, you are here. You have overcome so much already in your short life and we owe it all to prayer and the faithfulness of God’s healing. You are our miracle baby in so many ways and each milestone is a celebration. So when we see you crawl, stand up, start to walk (as I write this you are 14 months and WALKING!!), talk, laugh, we are overcome with so many different emotions-wonder, awe, thankfulness, joy. I think back on that lonely day watching empty sunbeams and marvel at how my life has changed since then. Our hearts, our lives, our house, and even the beams of sunshine streaming into our living room window are brighter than they’ve ever been…because you are in them all. We love you our precious Samuel Alan! God has BIG plans for you!

Love your Momma and Daddy